Friday, November 29, 2019

7 Ways to Move Up by Moving Over

7 Ways to Move Up by Moving Over7 Ways to Move Up by Moving OverOver is the new up in many jobs and industries. Learn how to use zur seite hin gelegen moves and other off-the-ladder opportunities for career catapults and avoid getting derailed.Are you looking for that next career challenge but unsure how to get there? Climbing the corporate ladder might not be the only way. Today more than ever, a career detour just might lead to your career destiny. At every level - including the top - professionals, managers, and executives-in-waiting commonly zigzag through several seitlich lurches before stepping up to their destination position.Why has lateral become the new way to the top? The recession is partly to blame - the hierarchy in many companies flattened and compressed during the recession, effectively eliminating rungs that were previously part of the expected climb.Because of this reality, it has become more important to think sideways. If you dont plan ahead by considering late ral rotations as part of your career development plan, you may end up stuck on your current ladder rung indefinitely, unless you find a way to take a larger-than-usual step up. Yet paradoxically, exceptional advancement is less likely if you havent taken the time to boost your experience and confidence with lateral moves.Cheryl Palmer, career coach and founder of Call to Career, suggested a helpful analogy If youre stuck in a traffic jam and it may be hours before youre able to move forward, it makes sense to change lanes and exit on a side road where you can more quickly navigate around it. Sitting in the traffic jam and fuming doesnt get you anywhere.For advice on how to effectively turn a side step into a step up, Ladders asked several career-development experts to weigh in1. Make It Make Sense. Without a strategic career path, lateral moves can become merely a merry-go-round. Joanne Cleaver, author of the new book The Career Lattice Combat Brain Drain, Improve Company Culture, a nd Attract Top Talent, suggested you must proactively plot your own career plan to make sense of diagonal and lateral moves. Your employer wont do it for you, so the first thing to know is that its up to you to pursue and land opportunities that advance your career agenda, said Cleaver.A great place to start is to envision your next up move, and then reverse-engineer the qualifications you need to make a serious run for that position. Cleaver recommended assessing your current experience and skill platzset to determine what you might need to get where you want to go.Ask yourself Am I lacking hands-on operational experience? Proven expertise in a business skill, such as client retention? A working knowledge of a relevant slice of technology? What skill set would tee up my success in that position? suggested Cleaver. By comparing the skills required by your next-step job to the skills you currently have, youll quickly see the gaps that a lateral move can fill.2. Do What Needs to Be Do ne. Your informal self-assessment will likely uncover areas where your skills could be stronger to get you to the next level. Determine specific strategic actions that will help you reach your career goals faster.If you are a project manager who wants to become a department manager, you might need two things a stronger network outside your department so that your reputation is already established with your potential new peers, and broader exposure to customers and clients so you can show that you can drive growth as well as get work accomplished, said Cleaver.In this case, she suggested considering a short-term rotation to cultivate relationships with other departments and functions, or working on an assignment that puts you and your team on a customer-facing project.3. Volunteer Strategically. It can be difficult to find time for volunteer projects in the midst of your primary career responsibilities. But strategic volunteering can be a powerful way to rapidly expand your network o f influencers and to backfill business skills, according to Cleaver.To spin community service into an opportunity for lateral rotation, Cleaver suggested joining an organizational committee whose volunteers complement- yet dont duplicate- your existing network. Look to your current skills for a logical toehold (for example, if you work in marketing, join the marketing committee).Your end game is to transition to an assignment that builds your business skills, once your credibility is established, explained Cleaver. So a marketing exec, needing operational and financial management experience, might volunteer to co-chair an annual appeal. Such assignments tee up results-driven case studies for employees to bring back to their day job, illustrating business skills that prove their qualification for general management.4. Ensure Youre Still Learning. While sometimes taking a few steps sideways - or even back - can help you move forward, not all lateral moves or career detours will take you in the direction that you ultimately want to go. The trick is knowing which will and which wont.According to Melissa Llarena of Career Outcomes Matter, it can be detrimental to take a detour if youre unlikely to learn anything new in the next position. If you are switching to gain different skills or expand your network in the company, then a sideways turn could be helpful, said Llarena. However, if you are switching into a role where you cannot leverage any of your existing skills, then you should hear an internal alarm go off. To help avoid a dead end, Roy Cohen, career coach and author of The Wall Street Professionals Survival Guide, recommended evaluating any lateral move in light of whether it will expand your skill set or neutralize what may be viewed as outdated or legacy experience.Stacey Hawley, Career Specialist at The Credo Company, noted that career detours can be beneficial if they round out your overall experience and practical education. Some detours enhance your understanding of an industry or related industries- for example, industries that are vertically integrated, said Hawley. When determining whether a career detour is beneficial, consider how you will use your newly acquired skills for subsequent roles.5. Decide for Yourself What Up Means. Part of effective career planning is knowing whats right for you. If you reach a career crossroads where a move feels wrong based on your own goals and vision- whether its sideways, up, or down- listen to yourself. Not everyones path makes sense as a vertical trajectory. We often enter the workforce thinking its a straight path to the top, says certified professional coach Laurie Battaglia. Usually its not.Workplace coach Darcy Eikenberg described working with a senior leader who knew that the next available step up on his organizations traditional ladder would force him to spend more time traveling - something he dreaded with a young son at home. But after he spent time redefining what career adv ancement really meant to him, he discovered that his current post gave him the flexibility and true advancement opportunity that he wanted.He chose to stay put, to recognize that growing in his current role would not be a detour, but sacrificing his personal values would be, said Eikenberg. Hes been happily succeeding personally and professionally ever since.6. Leverage the Lattice. Whether your lateral move comes about by design or decree, there are ways you can maximize time spent horizontally. One advantage of latticed moves is that they allow you to experience different viewpoints and perspectives.Instead of looking down my own ladder, Im going to look across the lattice of the organization, said Halley Bock, CEO and president of Fierce, Inc. Rather than asking for input from people who share my perspective and experience, the question becomes how to embrace and leverage the different vantage points, including those of different generations.Offering lateral moves as an alternati ve to straight-upward movement can be particularly important for the younger workforce, according to Bock. The opportunity to work among different teams can give variety and depth to employees work experience, said Bock. She added that Millennials bring a strong desire to share their experience and make a difference- so offering multiple avenues to learn and grow can be essential for retaining top young talent.7. Create Your Own Promotion. With the collapse of mid-management roles in many companies, an employee with 10 to 15 years of experience may suddenly find theres no next level in sight- their leaders may be in the same age range with no plans to retire or leave any time soon. Eikenberg said that in cases where you cant expect a promotion, it may be time to orchestrate your own with a few key strategiesIdentify the pain in your organization and how you are uniquely suited to help calm that pain from your current position.Build a business plan for a new role, department, or serv ice you might lead.Communicate with key players in your organization to let your intentions be known.Take your efforts as seriously as you would a new job search.It takes creativity, persistence, and confidence to create your own next step, said Eikenberg, but if youre truly hungry for advancement in a flat world, make it yourself.

Sunday, November 24, 2019

This is the secret to improving your self-esteem

This is the secret to improving your self-esteemThis is the secret to improving your self-esteemIt seems we all want to know how to improve self-esteem these days.Life can be hard. And who is usually hardest on you? Yourself. Theres that negative voice in your head criticizing you. And sometimes you cant shut it up.So the answer is to boost your self-esteem, right?Weve seen an explosion of this kind of thinking lately, that self-esteem is the answer to everything.But its had somenegative effects on the world too - like an epidemic of narcissism.Via Self-CompassionThis emphasis on high self-esteem at all costs has also lumineszenzdiode to a worrying trend toward increasing narcissism. Twenge and colleagues examined the scores of more than fifteen thousand college students who took the Narcissistic Personality Inventory between 1987 and 2006. During the twenty-year period, scores went through the roof, with 65percent of modern-day students scoring higher in narcissism than previous ge nerations.Oh, and theres one other teensy weensylittle problem with trying to boost self-esteem to deal with that critical voiceIt doesnt work.Self-esteem aint the answerThis focus on improvingself-esteem got to the point where the State of California started a task force and gave it $250,000 a year to raise childrens self-esteem.They expected this to boost grades and reduce bullying, crime, teen pregnancy and drug abuse.Guess what? It was a total failure in almost every category.Via Self-CompassionReports on the efficacy of Californias self-esteem initiative, for instance, suggest that it was a total failure. Hardly any of the programs hoped-for outcomes were achieved.What?? Self-esteem is supposed to cure everything, right? Wrong.Research shows self-esteem doesnt cause all those good things. Its just a side effectof healthy behavior. So artificially boosting it doesnt work.Via Self-CompassionIn one influential review of the self-esteem literature, it was concluded that high self-e steem actually did elend improve academic achievement or job performance or leadership skills or prevent children from smoking, drinking, taking drugs, and engaging in early sex. If anything, high self-esteem appears to be the consequence rather than the cause of healthy behaviors.(For the science-based secret to never being frustrated again, click here.)Uh-oh. The cure-all is a cure-bedrngnishing.So what do we do?Researchers have found an answer to feeling much better about yourself - butits not improvingself-esteem.Forget self-esteem. Try self-compassionStop lying to yourself that youre so awesome. Instead, focus on forgiving yourself when youre not.Why?Research shows increasing self-compassion has all the benefits of self-esteem - but without the downsides.Via Self-CompassionThe bottom line is that according to the science, self-compassion appears to offer the same advantages as high self-esteem, with no discernible downsides. The first thing to know is that self-compassion and self-esteem do tend to go together. If youre self-compassionate, youll tend to have higher self-esteem than if youre endlessly self-critical. And like high self-esteem- self-compassion is associated with significantly less anxiety and depression, as well as more happiness, optimism, and positive emotions. However, self-compassion offers clear advantages over self-esteem when things go wrong, or when our egos are threatened.Self-compassion reduces anxiety. Self-esteem doesnt.Via Self-CompassionParticipants self-compassion levels, but not their self-esteem levels, predicted how much anxiety they felt. In other words, self-compassionate students reported feeling less self-conscious and nervous than those who lacked self-compassion, presumably because they felt okay admitting and talking about their weak points. Students with high self-esteem, by contrast, were no less anxious than those with low self-esteem, having been thrown off balance by the challenge of discussing their failings. When youre self-compassionate youfeel less embarrassed when youscrew up. Self-esteem doesnt help here.Via Self-CompassionAnother study required people to imagine being in potentially embarrassing situations being on a sports team and blowing a big game, for instance, or performing in a play and forgetting ones lines. How would participants feel if something like this happened to them?Self-compassionate participants were less likely to feel humiliated or incompetent, or to take it too personally. Instead, they said they would take things in their stride, thinking thoughts like Everybody goofs up now and then and In the long run, this doesnt really matter. Having high self-esteem, however, made little difference. Those with both high and low self-esteem were equally likely to have thoughts like Im such a loser or I wish I could die. Once again, high self-esteem tends to come up empty-handed when the chips are down.Want to feel more self-worth? Guess who wins? Yup. Self-compassion.Via Self-Compassionself-compassion was clearly associated with steadier and more constant feelings of self-worth than self-esteem. We also found that self-compassion was less likely than self-esteem to be contingent on particular outcomes like social approval, competing successfully, or feeling attractive. When our sense of self-worth stems from being a human being intrinsically worthy of respect- rather than being contingent on obtaining certain ideals- our sense of self-worth is much less easily shaken.And guess whos more likely to be narcissistic? Those with self-esteem, not self-compassion.Via Self-CompassionIn fact, a striking finding of the study was that people with high self-esteem were much more narcissistic than those with low self-esteem. In contrast, self-compassion was completely unassociated with narcissism. (The reason there wasnt a negative association is because people who lack self-compassion dont tend to be narcissistic, either.)Research also shows self-compassion eve n makes you less likely to procrastinate.It also boosts happiness and reduces stress.Want a better love life? Self-compassion improves romantic relationships. Self-esteem doesnt.Via Self-CompassionThe results of our study indicated that self-compassionate people did in fact have happier and more satisfying romantic relationships than those who lacked self-compassion. This is largely because self-compassionate participants were described by their partners as being more accepting and nonjudgmental than those who lacked self-compassionHigh self-esteem, it should be noted, did not appear to do a whole hell of a lot for couples. Self-esteem was not associated with happier, healthier relationships, and people with high self-esteem werent described by their partners as being any more accepting, caring, or supportive in their relationships than those who lacked self-esteem.(For more on shortcuts to bonding with a romantic partner on a deeper level, click here.)I could go on and on. But Im s ure youre already saying, Just tell me how to do it, Eric Fair enough.Dont worry. Its not hardThere are a number of ways to boost self-compassion but Im going to focus on one here because its epically simpleI want you to talk to yourself. Nicely.Next time that voice in your head starts saying critical things, reframe the thoughts into something positive and forgiving.Via Self-CompassionThe best way to counteract self-criticism, therefore, is to understand it, have compassion for it, and then replace it with a kinder responseReframe the observations made by your inner critic in a kind, friendly, positive way.Sound silly? Tell that to theNavy SEALs. Positive self-talkis one of the methods that showed the best results in helping them get through their incredibly difficult training.Talking to yourself out loud can make you smarter, improve your memory, help you focus and even increase athletic performance.Maybe youre not buying it.Talking to yourself not doing it for you? Imagine someon e who loves you saying the kind words instead. Research shows thisdelivers serious results.Via Self-CompassionPractitioners first instruct patients to generate an image of a safe place to help counter any fears that may arise. They are then instructed to create an ideal image of a caring and compassionate figureThe training resulted in significant reductions in depression, self-attacking, feelings ofinferiority, and shame.Say you blow your diet and eat a whole bag of cookies. Now that voice in your head is beating you up. How would your loving grandma address the issue? Probably with less criticism and more like thisVia Self-CompassionDarling, I know you ate that bag of cookies because youre feeling really sad right now and you thought it would cheer you up. But you feel even worse and are not feeling good in your body. I want you to be happy, so why dont you take a long walk so you feel better?You need to dispute the negative thoughts and reframe them into something positive. Every time that critical voice starts yammering, instead imagine Grandma giving supportive advice.You forgive others all the time. You need to start forgiving yourself more often.(For more on quieting that voice in your head, click here.)Okay, lets round it up and put it to use.Sum upNext time that critical voice in your head starts going and you think you need a self-esteem boost, instead reach for some self-compassionReframe whatever the voice says into something more positive.If it helps you more, visualize a compassionate figure and have them say it to you.Yes, its that simple.When we focus on self-esteem, we often build ourselves up by comparing ourselves to others. In the end, this is a losing strategy. Even if we come out ahead, it still distances us from other people and thats no path to happiness.By remembering that everybody screws up younot only engage your compassion muscles but youalso drawyourself closer to others. Youre not better or worse. Were all imperfect. And thats ok ay. And it unites everyone.As researcher Kristin Neff explains in her bookWho is the only person in your life who is available 24/7 to provide you with care and kindness? You.Join over 185,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related postsHow To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done 5 Expert Tips6 Things The Most Productive People Do Every DayNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulThis article originally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.This is the secret to improving your self-esteemIt seems we all want to know how to improve self-esteem these days.Life can be hard. And who is usually hardest on you? Yourself. Theres that negative voice in your head criticizing you. And sometimes you cant shut it up.So the answer is to boost your self-esteem, right?Weve seen an explosion of this kind of thinking lately, that self-esteem is the answer to everything.But its had somenegative effects on the world too - like an epidemic of narcissism.Via Self-Compas sionThis emphasis on high self-esteem at all costs has also leuchtdiode to a worrying trend toward increasing narcissism. Twenge and colleagues examined the scores of more than fifteen thousand college students who took the Narcissistic Personality Inventory between 1987 and 2006. During the twenty-year period, scores went through the roof, with 65percent of modern-day students scoring higher in narcissism than previous generations.Oh, and theres one other teensy weensylittle problem with trying to boost self-esteem to deal with that critical voiceIt doesnt work.Self-esteem aint the answerThis focus on improvingself-esteem got to the point where the State of California started a task force and gave it $250,000 a year to raise childrens self-esteem.They expected this to boost grades and reduce bullying, crime, teen pregnancy and drug abuse.Guess what? It was a total failure in almost every category.Via Self-CompassionReports on the efficacy of Californias self-esteem initiative, for instance, suggest that it was a total failure. Hardly any of the programs hoped-for outcomes were achieved.What?? Self-esteem is supposed to cure everything, right? Wrong.Research shows self-esteem doesnt cause all those good things. Its just a side effectof healthy behavior. So artificially boosting it doesnt work.Via Self-CompassionIn one influential review of the self-esteem literature, it was concluded that high self-esteem actually did not improve academic achievement or job performance or leadership skills or prevent children from smoking, drinking, taking drugs, and engaging in early sex. If anything, high self-esteem appears to be the consequence rather than the cause of healthy behaviors.(For the science-based secret to never being frustrated again, click here.)Uh-oh. The cure-all is a cure-nothing.So what do we do?Researchers have found an answer to feeling much better about yourself - butits not improvingself-esteem.Forget self-esteem. Try self-compassionStop lying to yo urself that youre so awesome. Instead, focus on forgiving yourself when youre not.Why?Research shows increasing self-compassion has all the benefits of self-esteem - but without the downsides.Via Self-CompassionThe bottom line is that according to the science, self-compassion appears to offer the same advantages as high self-esteem, with no discernible downsides. The first thing to know is that self-compassion and self-esteem do tend to go together. If youre self-compassionate, youll tend to have higher self-esteem than if youre endlessly self-critical. And like high self-esteem- self-compassion is associated with significantly less anxiety and depression, as well as more happiness, optimism, and positive emotions. However, self-compassion offers clear advantages over self-esteem when things go wrong, or when our egos are threatened.Self-compassion reduces anxiety. Self-esteem doesnt.Via Self-CompassionParticipants self-compassion levels, but not their self-esteem levels, predicted how much anxiety they felt. In other words, self-compassionate students reported feeling less self-conscious and nervous than those who lacked self-compassion, presumably because they felt okay admitting and talking about their weak points. Students with high self-esteem, by contrast, were no less anxious than those with low self-esteem, having been thrown off balance by the challenge of discussing their failings.When youre self-compassionate youfeel less embarrassed when youscrew up. Self-esteem doesnt help here.Via Self-CompassionAnother study required people to imagine being in potentially embarrassing situations being on a sports team and blowing a big game, for instance, or performing in a play and forgetting ones lines. How would participants feel if something like this happened to them?Self-compassionate participants were less likely to feel humiliated or incompetent, or to take it too personally. Instead, they said they would take things in their stride, thinking thoughts l ike Everybody goofs up now and then and In the long run, this doesnt really matter. Having high self-esteem, however, made little difference. Those with both high and low self-esteem were equally likely to have thoughts like Im such a loser or I wish I could die. Once again, high self-esteem tends to come up empty-handed when the chips are down.Want to feel more self-worth? Guess who wins? Yup. Self-compassion.Via Self-Compassionself-compassion was clearly associated with steadier and more constant feelings of self-worth than self-esteem. We also found that self-compassion was less likely than self-esteem to be contingent on particular outcomes like social approval, competing successfully, or feeling attractive. When our sense of self-worth stems from being a human being intrinsically worthy of respect- rather than being contingent on obtaining certain ideals- our sense of self-worth is much less easily shaken.And guess whos more likely to be narcissistic? Those with self-esteem, no t self-compassion.Via Self-CompassionIn fact, a striking finding of the study was that people with high self-esteem were much more narcissistic than those with low self-esteem. In contrast, self-compassion was completely unassociated with narcissism. (The reason there wasnt a negative association is because people who lack self-compassion dont tend to be narcissistic, either.)Research also shows self-compassion even makes you less likely to procrastinate.It also boosts happiness and reduces stress.Want a better love life? Self-compassion improves romantic relationships. Self-esteem doesnt.Via Self-CompassionThe results of our study indicated that self-compassionate people did in fact have happier and more satisfying romantic relationships than those who lacked self-compassion. This is largely because self-compassionate participants were described by their partners as being more accepting and nonjudgmental than those who lacked self-compassionHigh self-esteem, it should be noted, did not appear to do a whole hell of a lot for couples. Self-esteem was not associated with happier, healthier relationships, and people with high self-esteem werent described by their partners as being any more accepting, caring, or supportive in their relationships than those who lacked self-esteem.(For more on shortcuts to bonding with a romantic partner on a deeper level, click here.)I could go on and on. But Im sure youre already saying, Just tell me how to do it, Eric Fair enough.Dont worry. Its not hardThere are a number of ways to boost self-compassion but Im going to focus on one here because its epically simpleI want you to talk to yourself. Nicely.Next time that voice in your head starts saying critical things, reframe the thoughts into something positive and forgiving.Via Self-CompassionThe best way to counteract self-criticism, therefore, is to understand it, have compassion for it, and then replace it with a kinder responseReframe the observations made by your inner criti c in a kind, friendly, positive way.Sound silly? Tell that to theNavy SEALs. Positive self-talkis one of the methods that showed the best results in helping them get through their incredibly difficult training.Talking to yourself out loud can make you smarter, improve your memory, help you focus and even increase athletic performance.Maybe youre not buying it.Talking to yourself not doing it for you? Imagine someone who loves you saying the kind words instead. Research shows thisdelivers serious results.Via Self-CompassionPractitioners first instruct patients to generate an image of a safe place to help counter any fears that may arise. They are then instructed to create an ideal image of a caring and compassionate figureThe training resulted in significant reductions in depression, self-attacking, feelings ofinferiority, and shame.Say you blow your diet and eat a whole bag of cookies. Now that voice in your head is beating you up. How would your loving grandma address the issue? Pr obably with less criticism and more like thisVia Self-CompassionDarling, I know you ate that bag of cookies because youre feeling really sad right now and you thought it would cheer you up. But you feel even worse and are not feeling good in your body. I want you to be happy, so why dont you take a long walk so you feel better?You need to dispute the negative thoughts and reframe them into something positive. Every time that critical voice starts yammering, instead imagine Grandma giving supportive advice.You forgive others all the time. You need to start forgiving yourself more often.(For more on quieting that voice in your head, click here.)Okay, lets round it up and put it to use.Sum upNext time that critical voice in your head starts going and you think you need a self-esteem boost, instead reach for some self-compassionReframe whatever the voice says into something more positive.If it helps you more, visualize a compassionate figure and have them say it to you.Yes, its that sim ple.When we focus on self-esteem, we often build ourselves up by comparing ourselves to others. In the end, this is a losing strategy. Even if we come out ahead, it still distances us from other people and thats no path to happiness.By remembering that everybody screws up younot only engage your compassion muscles but youalso drawyourself closer to others. Youre not better or worse. Were all imperfect. And thats okay. And it unites everyone.As researcher Kristin Neff explains in her bookWho is the only person in your life who is available 24/7 to provide you with care and kindness? You.Join over 185,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related postsHow To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done 5 Expert Tips6 Things The Most Productive People Do Every DayNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulThis article originally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

Thursday, November 21, 2019

A Good, Sad, Real Reason to Go to Law School

A Good, Sad, Real Reason to Go to Law SchoolA Good, Sad, Real Reason to Go to Law SchoolBecause you grew up in an abusive household, with nine brotzu sichs and sisters, most enduring regular bouts of beatings, starvationtorture, reallyas your parents ate steak and lobster, ridiculed your interests, made you, at the age of ten, care for your younger siblings, one of whom was sodomized and chained to a bathtub, and worse, while being brainwashed to think that everyone in the world was as evil as your father who used the money from your brothers life insurance policy to buy a sports car. And because you want to make sure people like that get what people like that should getOn Saturday, Melissa Anderson graduated from St. Marys University School of Law at the top of her class, and she plans to practice family law or represent abused and neglected children in the court system. She would like to run for office some day. She is also an author, and she published her first illustrated childre ns book lastyear.I have a burning desire to help children. I grew up seeing so many injustices in the world, she said. (Law school) seemed like the place to go to make it right, to help someone who is now where Iwas.You can read the full story here.The San Antonio Express-News